ABOUT LOVE

Love is...
[ Dash a comment ] [ No comments ]
# Posted on Monday, 28 July 2008 at 2:56 PM

Happyness is

Happyness is the rest of the bloody hassles, Beware to not awake them



Happyness is
[ Dash a comment ] [ 3 comments ]
# Posted on Monday, 21 July 2008 at 5:43 AM

Seras Tu Là ? - Will You Be There? ......Of course not :((

Et quand nos regrets viendront danser
Autour de nous nous rendre fous
Seras-tu là ?

Pour nos souvenirs et nos amours
Inoubliables inconsolables
Seras-tu là ?

Pourras-tu suivre là ou je vais ?
Sauras-tu vivre le plus mauvais ?
La solitude le temps qui passe
Et l'habitude regardes-les
Nos ennemis dis-moi que oui
Dis-moi que oui

Quand nos secrets n'auront plus cours
Et quand les jours auront passé
Seras-tu là ?

Pour, pour nos soupirs sur le passé
Que l'on voulait que l'on rêvait
Seras-tu là ?
Le plus mauvais
La solitude le temps qui passe
Et l'habitude reqardes-les
Nos ennemis dis-moi que oui
Dis-moi que oui !
Là ?
Seras-tu là ?
Seras-tu là ?



And when our regrets will come to dance
Around us, make us becoming crazy
Will You be there?

For our souvenirs and our love
Unforgettable , inconsolable
Will you be there?

Will you be able to follow where I'll go?
Will you be able to live the worst?
Loneliness, the passing time
And habit, watch them
Our enemies, tell me “yes”
Tell me that you'll be able

When our secrets will have no current
And when the days will have passed
Will you be there?

For, for our sigh above the pass
That we wanted, that we dreamt
Will you be there?
The worst
The loneliness, the passing time
And habits, watch them
Our enemies, tell me “Yes”
Tell me yes you'll be there!
There
Will you be there?
Will you be there?

LAST PART : The silent minute

Un soir, tu trouveras des brouillons dans leur cachette
Pour voir, tu sortiras les disques de leur pochette
Notre histoire, tu la verras défiler dans ta tête

Alors chut, pose doucement un doigt devant ta bouche
Et lutte, efface de ta mémoire ces mots qui nous touchent
Brûle, ces images qui nous plongent dans la solitude

Ecoute, ce qu'il reste de nous
Immobile et debout
Une minute de silence

Ce qu'il reste, c'est tout
De ces deux c½urs immenses
Et de cet amour fou
Et fais quand tu y penses
En souvenir de nous
Une minute de silence

Ecoute passer mes nuits blanches
Dans tes volutes de fumée bleue
Cette minute de silence
Est pour nous deux

Ecoute, ce qu'il reste de nous
Immobile et debout
Une minute de silence

Ce qu'il reste, c'est tout
De ces deux c½urs immenses
Et de cet amour fou
Et fais quand tu y penses
En souvenir de nous
Une minute de silence

Une minute de silence

One evening, you will find the draft in their hideout
To see, you'll take off the disk from their boxes
Our story, you'll see it passed through your mind.

So chuuutt, put softly a finger on your lips
And fight, erase from your memory those words that touch us
Burn those images that put us in loneliness

Listen, what stay from us
Immobile and standing
One minute of silence

What stay, and that's all
From those huge hearts
And this crazy love
And do, when you will think about it
In memory of us
One minute of silence

Listen passing those sleepless nights
In my curls of blue smoke
This minute of silence
Is for both of us

Listen, what stay from us
Immobile and standing
One minute of silence

What stay, and that's all
From those huge hearts
And this crazy love
And do, when you will think about it
In memory of us
One minute of silence

One minute of silence
[ Dash a comment ] [ 3 comments ]
# Posted on Tuesday, 15 July 2008 at 9:42 AM
Edited on Wednesday, 16 July 2008 at 6:34 AM

THE VOTES

THE VOTES
Voting, for me is not important . I would be a liar if i would say I am not happy to see that my friends vote for me ok. But in the other hand it means nothing
My position with votes is clear I have friends and every day i vote for them ONLY a +5
It is a simply way to tell them, I am happy to know you, i appreciate who you are and everyday i have a thought for you
I would never give a 4 or less because i think votes should be only poisitv way to say you like somebody.. I always try to do my best knowing at the same time i am far to be perfect I just want :
To be honest with myself
To be trustful
To believe in people knowing it is risky
To be constant
To fight for what i feel good to be
for the rest...only God can judge
[ Dash a comment ] [ 3 comments ]
# Posted on Friday, 04 July 2008 at 2:32 AM

BEING FEELING HUMILIATED SO MUCH....ENOUGH TO PUT TEARS UN MY EYES ...

BEING FEELING HUMILIATED SO MUCH....ENOUGH TO PUT TEARS UN MY EYES ...
I need respect, I need consideration just a few, I need a little attention.

Last year I lived with a Bulgarian woman. We separated in december and then I tried to keep good relations with her like I use to do with all my ex gf.

In spring while she was in Bulgaria she has been attacked stolen her salary etc..
I respect a lot the pass specialy when it concerns someone very important in my life. There she had no help from her family. In the name of love and the pass i decided to lend her to go far from this maniac.
i didn't have a regular job, fiancaly it was difficult for me, but when we decided that i would go there to get her back here i borrow money to my so dear friends alot of moeny for the trip and to accept she would live with me here without asking anything in return, just to protect her,and as she said to make her body, her soul, her brain and her heart rest.

Before coming she told me she had a online relation with a guy from my city when she saw my reaction and my doubts she told me it was not true it was a jelousy test for me.

I will never forget the day when we arrived here we were so smiling so quiet peaceful

10days later things had radicaly changed

First, it was the war through comments and profiles on a french dating sites. She wrote she doesn't like : Alan, the fake people and manipulators. As self dedication she wrote "bird in cage". And as dedicate to me I had this : Dédicace à alan34fr (alan) Somebody who destroy totally my life,my soul,my heart,my all...He can kill me,but he will never let me free...

*** This dedicate and "alan" have been deleted by her after some days. A week ago she deleted her profile there.
About deleting here are copies of my comments sent to her and she deleted :

- Jeudi 12 Juin 2008 à 00:15 : Thanks to be in my life Thanks to be this so exceptional woman Thanks to be here under the same sky under the same moon under the same stars under the same roof Thanks to God who make us be sharing our lifes. Thanks to make me a better man. Alancho
- Lundi 16 Juin 2008 à 00:12 : Thanks for our so nice evening so funny so crazy so..incredible xixixixi if one day u are sad, remember the lower, party time the suprising celuvai (i laugh loudly when i remeber this hope i dont wake u up) the slasa dance etc hundreds of xixixixixixixi

They were deleted because : ...

Second., during those 10 days I discovered that she was flirting on this french dating site: ok everyone is free to do what he/she wants but.... That the "jealousy test" (see upper) was not completly real in fact the boy exists...in real. The bird in cage - who has the Flat keys and who come back when she wants had 3 dates came back at 3am or 9:30am driven by boys. Isn't it a strange opened cage?

Ok these are the facts but to be honest I, we, have to remember she was totallly lost before coming and the change of way of life may change us and make us have strange reactions... I think she realized it and tried to change. She separated from the boy she was in love. It was not her fault neither his, it was mine because one morning i called him so he was so bored he decided to break out; I guess a so important reason show how much he was in love too, specialy when he voted very often for one friend of mine... But I am considered as THE one who destroyed the couple.

Sometimes i write a sort of diary and while I am checking it now it reminds me some things between us

I remember this day when i brought her food to her job She was happy but after 1 min she asked me if I wanted to be connected on a computer so i connected....and when I came to her after some minutes ...she was not interested by the fact I was there she was smiling while chatting on internet. As she told me she flirts she likes that...
I didn't tell he,r but some persons began to talk about her attitude when they saw her profile or when they call me and ask where was she and i answered "I don't know" She risks to lose many relatives who used to like her a lot here but I don't say anything she does all she wants
I do my job if she is not interested it is not my problem but hers: The bus card, the Jean Paul' s sister ...she doesn't care or doesn't ask to be honest so...I let her do what she wants she is enough adult to decide her priorities of life Same with the grammatical lessons I proposed her...she never asked ...ok....
Later... My sensations (subjective) no smile no words she was smiling to her computer chatting
She has of course any right to chat when she has a so long working day but even if what I do is not a lot I just came back from far to be at time to get her I only expected some words, some smiles to feel she was happy to see me even a little but ...I didn't exist I was just there invisible so I went out of the shop I feel I m not at my place
When I said that I would need respect about the fact I come to get her she said : " I have money and I can go back by feet if u don't stop to repeat that you come for me etc "
It is a mistake for me to say it too often I feel bad very bad we can't communicate we are like strangers I don't know where we will go I can just suppose maybe I m wrong but I feel she will leave me soon because I bore her too much She is not interesting in anything I try to do y best to find her a legal job Does she ask me about news? No
I feel I am nothing just a shit or invisible who is the one she talks to after she chat / flirt (her words) Ok it is her right we are not a couple..But I feel God by my side and I don't think he likes her attitude...Some people she knows don't want to see her anymore now because of me, did I lied or tell bad things, no! when they asked me where she is I answered they get their opinion and I don't like they have a such bad opinion and it hurts me a lot


I was thinking of simple things, I was happy to see her again, to bring her back. I had prepared everything for her, to make her feel good to be home again and that she could at least rest her soul, her heart and her body, after all her last months problems. I remember her tears « Alan i will do all for you i will clean cook range » i will work i will help you » I remember her words Alan after god you are the most important person of my life” and “ Alan i will shock u but I don't want your dust to be thrown away I want to keep them always with me forever“ It hurts so much to realize that someone we trust so much, someone we are confident in, someone to whom we have wanted so much to give all, act like this and we feel « No, it is not possible ! Not HER...But yes....She doesn't know what I think She doesn't care about me, my point of view, what I think about her, my advice and the life I live. Today we were both with a day off. Morning : sleeping. Midday : doctor Afternoon.....All that compared to her words (above) : What to trust ? What to think ? What to see ? the Words or the reality ?
[ Dash a comment ] [ 2 comments ]
# Posted on Wednesday, 25 June 2008 at 9:32 PM
Edited on Friday, 01 August 2008 at 3:55 AM